My Midlife Project

Remodeling a Middle-Aged Mom

Day 4 of 100: Seeking Serenity

“When we live life centered around what others like, feel and say, we lose touch with our own identity. I am an eternal being, created by God. I am an individual with purpose. It’s not what I get from life, but who I am, that makes the difference.”- Neva Coyle

Serenity Journal

Today is a day of rest in The First 100 Days program. I wish I had the luxury of truly resting my mind and soul as well as my body, but I don’t.

Around the beginning of the 2014 calendar year, I noticed many of my Facebook and Twitter contacts were posting their “one word”. It seemed like a good idea. Although I think there are websites devoted to helping you discern the “one word” for you, I must admit that I didn’t actually do an exercise to find mine. (This looks like it might be a good one… One Word That Will Change Your Life)

I simply peered into the core of my being and chose “SERENITY”.

With that vision before me — the vision of what serenity would be for me — I moved forward each day with serenity as my goal.

As an introvert, I know I will never find serenity in busyness. I won’t find it in a crowd. I won’t find it when I feel rushed.

During most of January, I felt successful in achieving my goal of serenity.

Then came February… and it was gone.

As I have alluded to in recent posts, I have a longstanding commitment that has become a source of anxiety for me. Not only is the “issue” causing anxiety, but trying to decide about how to move forward is also a problem. Because I like plenty of downtime and thinking time, it is never a good thing for me to feel pressured and over-scheduled. I don’t even feel as if I have enough time to contemplate the decision I need to make… so I just keep surging ahead like a raft in whitewater.

And for now, today and this week and next week and for the entire month of March, I am suffering from overwhelm and other feelings I do NOT like… pressured and over-scheduled. There is nothing I can do about it, because someone else set my schedule and spread me extremely thin.

Changing the schedule is not possible. Certain things are out of my control. However, I can do several things to make the most of it. Oddly, within the past 24 hours or so, my daily meditations and some emails in my inbox have reminded me of what I can do in the midst of my current situation…

Avoid too much caffeine. Avoid intense exercise.

Get plenty of sleep. Eat healthy food.. But occasionally indulge in ice cream.

And remember to say “no” in the future.

Maybe this post will be a reminder for you. 🙂

About Brenda

Morning person. Introvert. Longtime runner. Erratic sleeper. Fitness junkie. Lifelong learner. Coffee addict. Volunteer. Health/Wellness advocate. Coach. Blogger.

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