My Midlife Project

Remodeling a Middle-Aged Mom


“I am going to send an angel before you to protect you as you journey and to bring you into the place that I have prepared. Take heed because of him, and obey his voice…” Exodus 23:20-21 (NET Bible)

View of sunrise from sideview mirror

Recently I’ve felt some desperation about my destination.

When I was a kid — long before there was a GPS in nearly every car or on every cell phone — we took summer road trips. LONG road trips.

We traveled to the lake and to the mountains and to the desert.

With four kids in the family, one of us sat between my parents in the front (ALWAYS my baby sister, cuz she got carsick) and the rest of us squeezed in the back seat.

Those of us in the cheap seats were often uncomfortable. We were distracted. We were unhappy. Sometimes we were downright miserable.

“Are we there yet?”

“He pinched me.”

“How many more miles before we get there?”

“I’m hungry.”

We would rotate through positions with each fill-up of the gas tank. The two window seats were prime real estate. Sitting next to the window was SUPPOSEDLY so we could get a better view of the sights, but — in truth — it was easier to doze off. We didn’t mean to, but we’d lean against the window and the next thing we knew…

“Wake up! Pay attention! Listen to me! You’re missing the scenery!”

We could always depend on our mother’s voice to offer wise counsel. ESPECIALLY on those family road trips. We didn’t always listen or obey, but that didn’t stop her from giving directions on what we ought to do.

I’ve kinda always wished God’s voice would be as clear as my mom’s voice used to be…

This morning, during my quiet time with God, I read the following words:

“If you have not received a fresh word from God, return to the last thing God told you and examine your obedience. Is the Lord still waiting for your obedience?” – Henry T. Blackaby

The funny thing is… These words were in my last reading for today. It had taken me TWO HOURS to get there. I kept getting sidetracked by random memories of when I knew God’s Spirit had led me down the right road and I had followed his instructions and I could look back down the trail and see the fruit from those divine appointments along the way.

Everything was SO clear in the rearview mirror…

But lately? Silence.

Then… sitting there this morning with my third cup of coffee… I paused to ask God a question:

“Why haven’t you been telling me lately what I’m supposed to do?!!?”

(Because caffeine.)

I sighed. I took a deep breath and turned to my final devotional and there were those words:

“Is the Lord still waiting for your obedience?”

Well, now that I think about it… Um, maybe. Perhaps. Possibly. Could be.

Okay… Yeah. Definitely. No doubt. He is.

Maybe that thing I’ve felt deep inside me, that passion, that urge… Maybe He is waiting for me to just DO it.

“Call to me and I will answer you. I’ll tell you marvelous and wondrous things that you could never figure out on your own.” ~ Jeremiah 33:3 (MSG)

Maybe — because I was afraid of falling — I neglected to just take the first step.

Maybe he wants me to stop being so distracted by my desperation and my destination and just do what he already told me to do.

Instead of reading books and signing up for free webinars and listening to podcasts and spinning my wheels and cruising Facebook and daydreaming about the perfect entrance… Maybe God wants me to just obey.

“If you wander from the right path, either to the right or to the left, you will hear a voice behind you saying, ‘You should go this way. Here is the right way.’” ~ Isaiah 30:21 (ERV)

Kinda like my mother. All she ever wanted was for me to obey… Obey her. Obey God. Pay attention. Listen.

And suddenly I hear Mom’s angel voice singing these words:

“Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey…

“What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey.”

It’s time. It’s time to take the next step. God will give me the road map. He will be my GPS. He will guide me where he wants me to go. He will give me confidence.

And he can do the same for you… Just ask.

About Brenda

Morning person. Introvert. Longtime runner. Erratic sleeper. Fitness junkie. Lifelong learner. Coffee addict. Volunteer. Health/Wellness advocate. Coach. Blogger.

Leave a Reply